Have you ever had someone in your life that constantly feels compelled to warn you of what could go wrong? Perhaps you have someone in your life that continually responds to your excitement by raining on your parade or by highlighting every negative aspect of what you are excited about, leaving you feeling deflated and drained. You might experience this person as negative and pessimistic, while they defend themselves as being “a realist”. Their version of reality might not mirror yours at all, leaving you unsure of how to get on the same page with them. Individuals such as these very likely have a high Negativity and Pessimism schema, one of the 18 Early Maladaptive Schemas described in Schema Therapy (Young & Colleagues).

Early Maladaptive Schemas Explained

In Schema Therapy, an Early Maladaptive Schema is a persistent, enduring belief that most often develops during childhood. A schema is an educational term used to describe how we learn through models or blueprints. For example, as we are growing up and having experiences with caregivers and peers, we are continually forming blueprints for how we understand the world, ourselves, and others. As we age, we continue to sort new information through the schemas that we have already formed, often looking for confirmation that what we know to be true is still proving to be true. This confirmation bias is at the root of Early Maladaptive Schemas and the frustrating repetitive cycles that individuals with high scoring Early Maladaptive Schemas often experience. These maladaptive schemas typically make perfect sense in the context of one’s childhood, however they often have an extremely negative impact on mental health later in life when they are generalized to the rest of that person’s experiences.

Negativity and Pessimism Schema and its Origin

A Negativity and Pessimism schema is often formed if a person grows up with a parent with a high Negativity and Pessimism schema. For example, a parent who constantly highlights the negative aspects of things and discourages optimism, often creates the same schema in their child. The child hears the commentary and begins to think negatively of the things in their lives, hyper-fixating on negativity or being anxious about. negative outcomes. Perhaps their parent expresses negativity and pessimism about a particularly thing or about a lot of things. Often, a person with a high Negativity and Pessimism schema isn’t just highlighting and over-focusing on the negative things, they are also minimizing and/or ignoring the positive aspects of things. This creates an overly negative and dark perspective that often creates feelings of dread or worry that the worst is going to happen, even when there is no evidence that it will. A child who has experienced a lot of hardship and difficulty growing up might also develop a belief that everything will go badly for them in the future because of their experiences in the past. It is important to remember that even though it is important to reflect on and acknowledge the difficulties and pain of our childhoods so that we can heal, it is also important to recognize that many times our childhood experiences were time limited and situational. It is important to reality-test our beliefs today by looking at our current lives and relationships to see if our situation is different than it was when we were children. Having self-compassion and acknowledging the painful experiences of our child selves is important, but it is also important to keep in mind that are adult selves are often far removed from the circumstances we experienced growing up.

An example that I like to use to explore Negativity and Pessimism Schema is this:

Suppose that you walk into work one day and your boss immediately yells at you. It wouldn’t be healthy to respond to this situation by avoiding your feelings about being yelled at (avoidance), nor would it be healthy to pretend to enjoy being yelled out (over-compensating by becoming overly positive and fake). However, it also wouldn’t be helpful to respond by saying to yourself, “I hate how my boss speaks, I hate my boss, I hate my job, I hate my life.” If this is the response, it is pretty obvious that your day will be ruined and you will be feeling pretty down. If, however, you are intentional about responding in a way that incorporates both the good and the bad aspects of the situation, you are likely to come out of the situation with a realistic and balanced perspective. A healthy response might be something like, “I am really bothered by how my boss speaks to me sometimes, but I really do like the job itself, the pay, my co-workers, and the hours.” Now you have a pretty balanced perspective on the situation that leans more positive than negative and you are likely to feel better about your life as a result.

The Danger of Psychological Splitting

The concept of Negativity/Pessimism schema relates pretty closely to the idea of psychological splitting or all-or-nothing/black-and-white thinking. There are very few things in life that are all good or all bad or even very black and white. Most things -houses, relationships, people, jobs – are a mixture of both good and bad. Often, if they are things in your life presently, the good probably outweighs the bad or there is a good chance it wouldn’t be in your life. Thinking about things in all-or-nothing terms can result in a lot of emotional volatility and relationship insecurity, as the emotions related to any particular thing can massively change based on a single event. For example, you might really like your partner 90% of the time, but then they make a mistake and you feel that they are 100% bad. This complete devaluing of the other person and relationship can result in strong feelings of sadness and anger that may have otherwise simply been disappointment. In the previous situation, someone without a Negativity and Pessimism schema might pinpoint the problem as having to do with their bosses communication style, whereas someone with a high Negativity and Pessimism schema very well might quit their job and fall into a depressive episode. This thinking pattern has a huge impact on psychological wellbeing and mental health symptoms.

If you identify with statements such as these, you might have a Negativity/Pessimism schema:

•  If people get too enthusiastic about something, I become uncomfortable and feel like
• warning them of what could go wrong.
• or
• I feel better assuming that things will not work out for me, so that I don’t feel disappointed
• if things go wrong.
• or
• You can’t be too careful; something will almost always go wrong.

Treating Negativity and Pessimism Schema

If you think that you might have developed a Negativity and Pessimism schema growing up, practice some of these things to help heal the schema and reduce the negative impact it has on your life.

1. Take some time to reflect on why you might have developed it. Allow yourself to foster feelings of self-compassion towards your child-self, acknowledging the negativity that they experienced or had reinforced by the remarks of others. Allow yourself to feel sad for the weight and burden that these experiences and messages must have had on you growing up.
2. Be really intentional about acknowledging the positive and negative aspects of things. When you are thinking about something that you don’t like, complete your thought by stating the things about that thing that you do like. This will ensure that you are holding an accurate representation of things so that your feelings will hopefully reflect this holistic version of things rather than being extreme, as is often the case with black and white or all-or-nothing thinking.
3. Reality test your thoughts and beliefs before allowing yourself to react emotionally. This might require practicing emotionally distancing yourself from a situation or person, or taking a time-out to make sure that you are not in an escalated stated. It’s important to keep in mind that when you are triggered or escalated (Fight or Flight is activated) your rational thinking brain is not functioning properly. If you are in this state you will not likely be able to rationally think about the facts. Giving yourself time to de-escalate and calm yourself through box breathing (breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, and exhale for five seconds) or grounding exercises such as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique where you focus on identifying five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
4. Be mindful of your tendency to ruminate on the negative aspect of things. If you find yourself lost in thought ruminating about all of the negatives or the what-ifs or worst-case-scenarios, practice distraction techniques like thought blocking (picture locking up the thought in a metal box and putting it in the back of the closet) or putting-off techniques such as choosing to delay the thought process for fifteen minutes and then fifteen more until you’ve distracted yourself.
5. Try to imagine yourself as various parts and try to imagine the Negativity/Pessimism as coming from one part, but not all, of you. Acknowledge that there is a part of you that believes that the worst is going to happen, but that there is also a part of you that wants that not to be true. Try to foster your relationship with all of the parts of yourself so that you can understand each part, while not believing that every part is the entire truth. If the Negativity/Pessimism part is protecting you from being blindsided or disappointed, perhaps acknowledge how it is trying to protect you, while also acknowledging that though disappointment isn’t pleasant, it is a part of every day life and is an emotion that can be tolerated.

Be encouraged that with all of the 18 Early Maladaptive Schemas, healing can occur. You aren’t stuck thinking and feeling the same way forever. Practice some of the things above and see what progress you can make in how you think and notice the impact that it has on your mood and anxious or depressive symptoms. If, after trying them, you are still feeling stuck, reach out to a therapist and get support. A therapist can help you identify unhealthy ways of thinking, can challenge you and help you with reality-testing your thoughts and beliefs, and can offer strategies for helping you manage when your schemas are triggered.

If you located in the state of Illinois or Wisconsin, and are interested in working together, explore our services page.